Mother and Sons

De-evalutionising - To reverse the course of evolution.

I often question the way in which Western society has evolved. On average*

• Most family units have at least one parent that has to spend 35+ hours away from their children and this number seems to be going up and up.
• We are living in a dwelling we can’t afford and working ourselves to the bone trying to make ends meet.
• We have become very insular with the focus on ourselves and our direct family (moving away from the focus on community, neighbourhood)

*(stats of my own observations not based on scientific research)

Although I feel so blessed to be able to raise my boys in such a wonderful country as Australia, I also feel that there is something wrong with the way Western society has evolved.

To me it seems like we have evolved to much and we should actually take a step back “De-evolutionise” ourselves, take a page from our forbearers ;

Image by Mandy McLellan

The apes seem to have it all worked out, they are a tight knit community, where the women get to hang out, they share the food preparation, minding of the kids and the fathers are around most of the day. Not to forget they can live of the land, no need for money, clothes or any other materialistic thing!!!

Wow what an ideal world, what a sense of belonging and never having a moment of loneliness or feelings that you are overwhelmed. Just imagine it, no need to work, to cook or clean, no racing around taking kids to soccer and the list goes on....

Ok so living in a western world we are never going to reverse evolution to this extreme, but there are ways we can “de-evolutionise”ourselves to actually improve our quality of life. There are many villages in third world countries that are still able to sustain this pure way of living however for those of us who were born into a Western society have to adapt to a materialistic world, with it comes some amazing benefits, like health, food and shelter but also other extremes such as stress and loneliness, so what can we do to improve this?

Self sustainability

Working towards being self sustainable is a major way in which you can improve your life, removing some of that stress and increasing the amount of time both parents can spend with their children. There are some amazing people out there that have managed to become totally self sustainable in a western society which is absolutely brilliant and I take my hat off to them. However for most of us, this seems unobtainable so some smaller steps we can take are;

·         Living with in our means – this may mean living in a smaller dwelling, or moving to a location that is within your price range. Which would reduce stress levels and perhaps the amount of time parents have to work.

·         Prioritising – looking at your expenditures and removing things you don’t really need can improve your life. Less expenses, less time at work and more time with your family.

·         Growing your own veggies – I must admit besides the odd herb I have not yet concord this, but I have heard, with some constant work it is achievable.

Community living

Ideally instead of living in our own self contained shelters(homes) we could develop communities into more of a shared living environment like a commune or how the Amish live. For those of us not born into this type of living it is almost impossible to make the shift as we have adapted to much to our western society, we like our privacy, we like being insular, we like our own things and reversing this would be near impossible. So looking at the boundaries we have perhaps we can work on a way to share the work load that comes with living and develop a feeling of community within our own neighbourhoods.

·         Sharing work load:

• A street playgroup where mums and the children get together for a play once a week (one mother gets to have time out for herself while the other mums look after their kids)
• Meal swap – have a cook up (make double portions) and swap with your neighbour
• Neighbours take turns to mow each others lawns so you only have to do it every second time or third time.
• Bulk veggie shopping – I know of a group of friends that take turns to do the veggie shopping. When it’s their turn (every 10 weeks) they go to the fruit/veg market and buy in bulk (makes it’s a lot cheaper) they then divide the fruit/veg into 10 boxes and deliver the veggies. It is a lot of work on that one day but they only have to do it once every 10 weeks every other week their veggies are delivered to their door and it’s cheap

·         Building sense of community:

• Having a monthly morning tea with your neighbours
• Have a book club where you trade books with your neighbours
• Have a street Christmas party
• Have a sports day where the families get together and play cricket(baseball for my American readers)
• Get in contact with your local community centre and see what they have on offer. When I had Archie I found some amazing community mother groups, walking groups and breastfeeding groups. A hint of de-evolution yay!

Online Networking.

This is taking a major part of Western Evolution and using it to help us de-evolutionise. OK so it’s not “community living” in the traditional sense but it does provide a wonderful way to connect with people that have the same interests, lifestyle or concerns as yourself. It allows you to develop your understanding of all walks of life, become more wordly and It is a fantastic way in which you can feel a sense of belonging, remove that feeling of isolation and develop friendships and even meet a lifelong partner. I am currently developing a network of mothers with sons through this website which is a wonderful place for mothers with boys to share their stories, advice or concerns with other mothers. My first online networking experience was at www.babycenter.com.au through here I have made some wonderful friends and have met them face to face.   So Through these small simple steps we are on our way to de-evolution, on our way to an easier positive lifestyle and a brighter better future for our children

If you have any other suggestions, experiences, ideas how to bring back a sense of community, or ways to relieve the workload that comes with living up to Western evolution please post.

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