Mother and Sons

Hi Everyone,

So I have decided to do a weekly blog of what has been happening in our household, the link will go through to facebook/twitter but if you would prefer to receive an email just go the website and click on the subscribe to newsletter on the right hand side.

So what's been happening this week, well actually as it's been a while between posts this time it will be more like a months work.

Toilet Training

First of all Toilet training.....don't you love it!!! For those of you who haven't experienced it yet with your little ones it is one all mighty journey let me tell you. Archie has been a slow learner he is almost 3 and half and still in nappies. We have struggled long and hard with him as he is such a perfectionist and wont try anything unless he knows he can do it properly (nothing like his daddy hmmmm) anyway what this means is that for a long time he wouldn't even try and then when he finally did and couldn't go he was soooo dissappointed with himself and frustrated that even mentioning the potty got both of us really upset. After many talks to the wonderful free support out there like Trissillian and the local community nurse it was decided the best thing for him was just remove the nappies all together give him no choice but to use the toilet.

So for a couple of days it was many changes of clothes but on about the third day it happen wee's in the toilet well I can't express how happy I was, both Paul and I were in tears and Archie wellllll he couldn't have been more proud! So that was that no turning back HOWEVER number 2's well they are another story we are back to square one again the whole fear of failure thing and he wont even try but as my mother in law says he won't be walking down the isle with nappies on!!

Trip to the toyshop

As a reward for toilet training we decided to take Archie to the toystore to pick anything he wanted. Wallets braced we went in, after much pondering, little bro Zac had picked a bouncy ball and Archie was still checking things out. I finally said time to go Archie now what is it your going to pick?Buzz?Woody?A car? anything? well he went over and grabbed Zac's ball out of his hand and said "No Zac all toys stay in the toy shop!!!!" I said it's ok Archie you can take anything you want but No he was fixed on the thought that all toys stay in the toy shop he proceeded to say good bye to all the toys and headed out the front door!!! I asked him if he had fun and he said yes mummy!!! I couldn't believe it we went out empty handed, well I had a screaming Zac under my arm!!!

Grocery Shopping  - Guess who's making a mess !!

I normally don't mind shopping with the boys, they like to look at things and "help" put things in the trolley for me. This week though it just wasn't meant to be. Actually the shopping went well it was just the exiting that wasn't so smooth. I had given Zac a drinking yoghurt to keep him quiet on our rounds. At the checkout I placed the yoghurt to the side of the conveyer belt as I loaded my groceries, then the next thing, I don't know how it happened but I, yes me, somehow swiped the yoghurt and it spilt all through the check out confectionary!!!!!! I couldn't believe it why is it always me making the mess not the kids!! Anyway after many paper towel and embarrassment I exited the grocery store. As I was loading the car I made the HUGE mistake of letting the boys play in the car, Zac, yes zac of course, climbs into the drivers seat and leans his body weight on the steering wheel releasing the Horn and instead of being alarmed and jumping away he proceeded to giggle and lie ontop of it until I managed to get around and pull him out,  much to all the other shoppers disgrace, the ones that just saw me cleaning up the yoghurt mess

Gardening - guess whos' making the mess again?

Spring has sprung and we decided to buy some beautiful pots/plants thanks to our gorgeous brother&sister in law!! I set it all up this morning so that the boys could "help" they were armed ready with shuffles, buckets, dirt and seeds, all went seemingly well until it was my turn to empty the big potting mix bags into the pots and I managed to spill it not once, twice but three times in three separate areas all over the backyard!

Anyway all in all it has been a really lovely week, I went out with some girlfriends last night and we spent a lot of the time talking about our kids, and although this isn't what you are suppose to do - (aren't you suppose to forget about the kids and talking about other...stuff...), I actually really enjoyed being able to share our stories together!

My nephew has just turned 19 and we are celebrating his birthday this weekend. Geez I can't even imagine my boys being that age but I know it will happen way to quickly. Hope you all have a great week

Sonya

How to take photos of little boys (and the occasional little girl!)

Hi, my name is Lauren Walker, from Tiger Lily Photography - im a family portrait photographer, based in Sydney, and working all over NSW.  I take photos of kids of all ages – from squishy newborn babies to smiling 6 month old sitting up for the first time; from 1 year olds learning to walk to 2 year olds learning to say no; from 3 year olds exploring the world to five year olds telling me what to do; and from 6 year olds who just want to please, to 12 year olds who are just ‘too cool’.... and every age inbetween!

Im also the mother of a 16 month old little boy, who is starting to get very determined, runs when he sees the camera – so I know a lot about the word NO!

Here are a few tips to get the best out of photographing your kids.... J

* Play Silly Buggers. This ‘game’ will depend on your kids age, but often I try tickling and playing ‘peek-a-boo’ with the kids first. Or asking them to find Thomas or Dora in the camera. In the photo below I pretended I was sneezing.... little Zac here wouldn’t stop laughing at me!

* Let there be light... natural light. Take your kids outside, turn the flash off your camera, and position your kids so they’re not looking into the sun (to avoid squinting, and to get some gorgeous backlighting).  If outdoors isn’t an option, open the blinds and let some lovely natural light into your house.

* Props, Props, Props. When kids are occupied, they’re normally really still (or at least not running around as much), and therefore easier to photograph. You won’t necessarily get photos of your child looking at the camera, but often they’re the best photos – see below.

* The closer the better. Some of the best photos of children are the ones where the camera has zoomed right in, and focused on the childs eyes (or eye lids, in the below photo!).  And, as you can see from the photo below, even when they’re throwing a tantrum, it can be super cute!

* The rule of thirds. A classic photography ‘rule’, but basically it means don’t always centre your child in the photo – try moving the camera so your child is to one side. These photos always look terrific blown up really big – a lovely lounge room canvas even!

* Belly Baby. As soon as a baby is happy on his or her belly, and starts to lift their head, get the camera ready! This is such a gorgeous age, and not one to miss!

* Get Down. As kids are little, you sometimes need to get down to their level. Lay on the floor, so you’re eye to eye to each other (tip – this one is good exercise, as kids often get up and run when you least expect it!)

* Family Time. For family photos, try positioning your family where you want them to be, shoot a few frames, and when you’re happy, set your camera to your timer setting, and jump in there. Or call me….. please mention this article for 10% off your session fee J

Happy Shooting!

Lauren Walker

Tiger Lily Photography: Simple, Beautiful Photography

m. 0416 006 779

p:  02 8824 7895

f:   02 8824 6266

e. lauren@tigerlilyphotography.com....au

w. www.tigerlilyphotography.com.au

b. www.tigerlilyphotography.com.au/blog

f. www.facebook.com/tigerlilyphotography ** become a fan! **

Technorati Tags: Photographing children

1. You have learnt how to wrestle
2. You have learnt how to kick a ball and swing a bat.
3. You have spent many hours playing with matchbox cars, trucks and diggers
4. You look over at the little girls clothes in the department store and sigh
5. You get a wave of excitement when you are driving along and spot a digger in action
6. You notice every snail, worm, rock, stick and feather as you walk along the path
7. You can name all the trains in Thomas the tank engine
8. You have a first aid kit the size of your pantry
9. You pack at least 2 sets of clothes for a trip to the park
10. You know what it feels like to have someone totally and utterly in love with you

Technorati Tags: little boys, mother and sons, mother of sons, Motherhood, proof your a mother of boys

My boys have been going to child care since they were 7 months olds. It wasn't because I wanted them to go but because we had no choice, unfortunatly the way society has evolved many of us don't have a choice but to have both parents at work part of the week. My boys go two days, the day care they go to meets Australian standards for a regular childcare, which means they have around 3 carers per 18 kids in Archie's group and per 12kids in Zac's room, although I trust in the day care staff and I can see the place is clean, stimulating and the children get looked after I can't help but feel my heartache every time I turn around and leave my children there.

Archie has pretty much cried every day I drop him off up until about a month ago. So yes it was 2 years of heartbreaking tears two days a week, morning and afternoon (he cried when I picked him up too) I would see him as I arrived in the afternoon just staring out the door waiting for me to arrive. It absolutly broke my heart dropping him off there, even with all the convincing that he was happy there and only cried when I dropped him off and picked him up. Now he actually does like it, well he seems happy to go, he asks about it and doesn't cry (most times) when we drop him off. However now that we are over that hurdle my little Zackie has started with the tears

I'm convinced now that these little boys just want to be with their mummas at such an early age, it's unnatural for them to be away from us and I think it's unnatural for a mum to have to be apart from their sons. However I do think that a mother having some time to herself is crucial for a happy family - whether that time be spent at work or doing something she loves to do, it is really important she has time to herself. If I had my choice though until my boys were close to 3 years old I would have much preferred them to be in a family care situation - with a small group of children, or with a relative or friend for those days I had to work, it seems more natural and less intimidating for them.

What are your views on boys in childcare?

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Mother and Sons –

The Relationship between a mother and her sons and how it changes.

I was one of two girls so never got to witness the relationship a mother has with her young son. I am now a mother of 3 boys (The eldest is my stepson) and am learning how to develop a loving relationship with my boys.  By reading books and through experience I am seeing that the boys go through stages and their relationship changes with me at each stage. Here is what I have learnt so far.

Newborn Stage

The very first couple of weeks of their lives I think that the boys did not really mind who was cuddling them/feeding them as long as they were warm and secure. If it wasn’t for the fact that I breast feed I think they would have been quiet happy to go to anyone to get their food and be settled. However what I noticed personally was that I had a strong desire to be with them at all times, I was deeply concerned about leaving them with anyone and felt that I had this intuition where I knew what they wanted and could comfort them quickly.

6 months old

The relationship started to change here I feel, actually could have even started earlier like around 3 months. The boys became harder to settle at night and you could see them looking around the room if I had gone anywhere, although they still were quiet happy to be with someone else

1 year old – 4 year old.

Now is where I could really feel the boys starting to need me as their mummy, they cried when I would leave the room or leave them with someone. When they were hurt they cried out for me and when they wanted food or to be changed I heard the cry for Mumma. My eldest is my stepson but this connection/need for a female parent or me was really strong at this age. He gravitated towards me and poor daddy was on the outer for a quiet a few years. My youngest are still in this age bracket; although they love their daddy and do go to him a lot you can tell that they are really still very dependent on the mother.

4 – 8 years old

Here is where I have noticed a huge change with my stepson. No longer does he hang for my attention but it’s all about the daddy now. He looks up to him and wants his dad to play with him. My relationship with him as moved slightly now I’m still important to him as a carer and someone to play with but it seems that he is more likely to want to impress his dad.

Teenagers

Well I cannot truly comment on this stage yet as I have all of this to look forward too!!!!! But from what I can gather and from what I have read, and also being a teenager my self I think that at this time the boys really look to their peers or role models for guidance. The mum is still there to look after them – when they want it- but they are busy trying to establish themselves and find their independence. I think this is a hard stage to go through with your children as you have to let them go a bit but at the same time you know they may not make the wisest decisions. I guess the relationship between mother and sons here is more one of mutual acknowledgment that no matter what they love and respect each other.

Adults

Again I’m not there yet but what I hope for is that as adults my sons will still look to me for assistance, friendship, and a safe house somewhere they know they can always go too. I think it will be truly amazing to see your children grown up and see what type of husband/father they make.

So I think that as a mother although sometimes it may feel that you are not the person your son wants to predominately be around, you are always going to be part of their support network. It’s a matter of being able to shift with the times and adapt to the age that your son is at.

Sonya

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